Trying To Be Free of the Noise

I have so much sensory stimulation that surrounds me at any moment. What really is this experience like for someone like me? Well, let me try to do it justice.

Can you imagine living in the midst of every slight sound being made around you and pulling your attention far away from what it is supposed to be attending to? I really want to be able to stop this from happening, and I try by cleaning out my ears constantly, or by drowning out the noise with my voice or with my music at the highest possible volume. But none of my efforts provide the relief that I need so desperately.

Can I withstand the onslaught much longer? This is what I am grappling with at any given moment. Wanting to be free.

Have A Say

After listening to the following podcast (the first story), G wanted to reflect on it and wanted her reflection posted here. 

http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/the-moth-podcast/e/the-moth-radio-hour-live-from-dublin-43311285?refid=asi_eml&autoplay=true

Graciela’s reflection:

I want to try to be more like the woman in the story who has found a way to strongly work towards her goals in spite of her differences. Many times I say that I want to do something and want to also amaze others but then I flounder because dreams are hard to achieve. Making my dreams come true all together depends on me and my ability. my autism will not hold me down and will not be an excuse. Autism is a difference; not some absurd derangement. The autistic brain amazes me and should not be dried up with lack of use.

Careless Body and Brilliant Mind Trapped Together: A Parable

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(video of Graciela spelling out part of this blog…)

One day a happy and beautiful couple found out they were having a baby. Talking to the baby was part of their daily routine.

Life changed after the baby arrived. The baby life was hard on the couple. People made comments about the baby’s development and the couple grew concerned.

Wanting to make the baby as normal as possible the mom started talking to many therapists and doctors. They gave her a lot of advice for the baby.

The mom and dad made many sacrifices for the baby. They appeared to always have everything under control but at home they let the truth out. They were both afraid for the alternate path of the baby. But they kept putting one foot going forward.

Years passed and the baby became a beautiful girl. Then the couple decided to make a major life change and move to Georgia. People thought they were crazy. The girl thought so too.

From the girl’s perspective the couple had made a major mistake that would make her life even harder because she was brilliant but no one could see this because her body is so hard to control.

Then an amazing life changing event happened. The girl found a way to express herself and all of the brilliance was able to come out.

People now respect the girl for her intelligence.

Many people still need to understand that a lot of kids like the girl have so much intelligence that is trapped in an uncooperative and hard to control body. They must be given the gift of communication.

To Dare To Believe

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Sometimes having autism is beautiful and sometimes it is awful. Autistics are caring and hard working kinds of people and are trying to get the respect they deserve.

Sharing my story is not easy for me because I was silent for many years.

Silence was good in some weary ways. I was able to get good at listening and was able to get good at determining my response to conversations being held around me.

Staying silent would have been awful. can you imagine never being able to say really important things? Being unable to speak as an autistic is awful because many think you form no opinions or have any thoughts.

Staying silent would have been awful in another way. Calling non speaking autistics retarded is quite common but we are so intelligent and have no way to get it out.

Many times I have thought about my life as a beautiful sad non speaking girl and feel that something strong and amazing is going to happen in my life . Autistics have much to offer the world and want to get some acceptance and really want to be truly included or asked to be part of the world.

The really important thing people must understand, teachers especially, is that really the problem is our bodies and not our minds.

 

 

Getting a Fair Education for Autistic Savants

MANY AUTISTIC SAVANTS ARE UNDERSERVED IN SCHOOL. THAT REALITY IS PROBABLY THE MOST CHALLENGING OBSTACLE FACING AUTISTIC SAVANTS TODAY. PEOPLE ARE OFTEN CONFUSED BY SAVANTS BECAUSE THEY MANY TIMES APPEAR DISINTERESTED IN THE WORLD AROUND THEM OR CANNOT COMMUNICATE WELL WITH OTHERS WHICH MAKES IT HARD FOR MANY TO RECOGNIZE THAT THEY ARE MORE INTELLIGENT THAN THEY ARE GIVEN CREDIT FOR TIME AND TIME AGAIN. OPEN MINDS AMAZED BY THE RARE INTELLIGENCE OF SAVANTS ARE LEADING THE WAY TOWARDS NEW EDUCATIONAL STANDARDS FOR SAVANTS.

DARING TO PUT GOALS THAT ARE BASED ON COMMUNICATION AND INTELLIGENCE GIVES SAVANTS THE FOUNDATION THEY NEED TO HAVE A LIFE WORTH LIVING . HAVING TO LIVE TRAPPED IN A BODY THAT DOES NOT COMMUNICATE WITH THE BRAIN IS FRUSTRATING. THIS MAKES IT HARD FOR ANYONE TO REALLY UNDERSTAND THE POTENTIAL OF NON SPEAKING AUTISTICS. MANY FIND THEMSELVES DIAGNOSED AS RETARDED BECAUSE THEY WERE NOT GIVEN A RELIABLE LEGITIMATE TEST TO MEASURE THEIR INTELLIGENCE. IQ TESTS ARE MADE FOR SPEAKING PEOPLE WITH FULL CONTROL OF THEIR BODIES. AUTISTICS WHO ARE NON SPEAKING MAKE THESE TESTS NULL AND VOID BECAUSE THEY ARE UNABLE TO DEMONSTRATE THEIR MASSIVE INTELLIGENCE ON THIS TYPE OF TEST. FINDING BETTER WAYS TO MEASURE INTELLIGENCE IS CRITICAL. THIS WILL GET SCHOOLS TO GIVE MORE THOUGHT TO THE GOALS THEY HAVE FOR THESE STUDENTS. SAVANTS HAVE RAPID PROCESSING SPEEDS. THEY MUST BE TAUGHT AT THIS PACE.

RARE INTELLIGENCE IS BEING WASTED EVERY DAY IN SCHOOLS THAT DO NOT PLACE ANY VALUE ON THE INTELLIGENCE OF AUTISTICS WHO ARE UNRELIABLE SPEAKERS. THIS PUTS THE ONUS ON THE CHILD TO PROVE HIMSELF ABLE TO HANDLE MORE THAN PEOPLE ASSUME HE CAN. GETTING THE SCHOOL TO BELIEVE IS NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF STRONG WILLED TEACHERS WITH DEGREES FROM TOP UNIVERSITIES WHO CALL THEMSELVES EXPERTS BUT DO NOT BELIEVE IN THE COMPETENCY OF THEIR STUDENTS. ALWAYS ACTING UNDER THIS VERY SKEWED PERSPECTIVE MAKES EDUCATORS FAIL TO GET TO THE HEART OF THEIR STUDENTS’ GIFTS AND INTELLIGENCE.  GETTING THESE TEACHERS TO ACCEPT COMPETENCY AND TO ACT ON IT IS KEY. WITH PRESUMPTION OF COMPETENCE SAVANTS WILL COME CLOSER TO GETTING THE EDUCATION THEY DESERVE.

THE AUTISTIC SAVANT IS OFTEN RARELY EDUCATED . THIS IS A SHAME. GIVING LIFE TO AUTISTIC SAVANTS SHOULD BE TOP PRIORITY FOR MANY WHO WORK WITH AUTISTICS IN AN EDUCATIONAL SETTING. AUTISTICS BECOME LESS AND LESS ABLE TO PARTICIPATE IN WORK AND EDUCATION BECAUSE THEY ARE LEARNING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER IN SCHOOL. SAVANTS ARE LEFT TO ROT IN THE IGNORANCE OF OUR EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM IN THIS COUNTRY. LIFE HAS BEEN UGLY TO PEOPLE WHO ARE AUTISTIC AND NON SPEAKING. . STORIES HAVE BEEN TOLD OF ABUSIVE SITUATIONS IN FAMILIES, SCHOOLS, GROUP HOMES AND OTHER PLACES BECAUSE THE AUTISTIC HAS NO VERY GOOD WAY TO DEFEND HIMSELF. OPENING OUR GREAT SCHOOLS TO THE REALLY INTELLIGENT, UNDERSERVED, AUTISTIC SAVANT WILL MAKE LIFE BETTER FOR EVERYONE.

EDUCATION OF AUTISTICS CAN CHANGE THE FUTURE. WALLS MUST COME DOWN AND MINDS MUST BE OPENED. WITH MANY LIVES AT STAKE IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT PEOPLE QUESTION THE CURRENT PRACTICES. THEN THEY MUST  WORK TOGETHER TO MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES TO CURRICULUM OR ELSE THE AUTISTIC, REALLY INTELLIGENT SAVANT WILL BE FORGOTTEN AND MANY BRILLIANT MINDS WILL GO TO WASTE.

Making Resolutions Towards Life

Making your many New Years resolutions takes a lot of thought. I put a lot of thought into my resolutions for this year. Take some time to write your resolutions down. This wants to go to really have an impact on you.

Many resolutions are kind of things that are personal. Many resolutions get thrown out when life gets busy. The saving hard fact in my life is that life is many challenging moments put together into days, weeks, months and years. Making resolutions is maybe the saving thing in my life because they give many many thoughts direction.

Talking more with my mouth is my biggest resolution this year. I want to rally my brain going together with my body. I really have to work hard. I want to make a life that is livable and full of the things all twelve year olds want for themselves.

I am always making some resolutions to go to school. I want to go to a secondary school that will make me feel challenged. Right now I do not like being home schooled because many of the living opportunities are missing. Having this change this year would be great!

Outsiders think that I am a very simple minded person but in reality I am so beautifully intelligent. I want to be able to show this to others.

Finding Thanks

A VERY HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO EVERYONE. THIS THANKSGIVING I AM SO THANKFUL FOR MY FAMILY. LIFE ALWAYS HAS HARD MOMENTS BUT MANY OF THESE MOMENTS ARE MADE BETTER BY FAMILY. LIFE IS GETTING TOUGHER AS ADOLESCENCE APPROACHES. THIS HAS BEEN HARD AND CHALLENGING FOR ME AND ALSO FOR MY MOM. HAVING TO GO TO THE ALL INTENSIVE LIFE OF MANY AUTISTICS IS NOT EASY FOR MANY NON AUTISTICS. MANY GO LIVE THEIR OWN LIVES WHILE GIVING THEIR GOOD AUTISTIC CHILDREN THAT CANNOT CONTROL THEIR ALL CARELESS BODIES AWAY TO GO TO SCHOOLS THAT DO NOT HAVE THE PRESUMPTION OF COMPETENCE AS THEIR MAIN FINDING. MANY GIVE UP ON THEIR KIDS. I AM ALWAYS THINKING OF LIFE AND LUCK. THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON. THANKSGIVING IS A TIME TO BE GRATEFUL. MAKING THANKS A PART OF HAVING OPEN HEARTS HAS MADE ITS WAY INTO MY LIFE. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

MY YOUNGER SISTER HAS SOMETHING TO SHARE TOO…

Thanksgiving

I am thankful for  a lot of things but I am very thankful for my family and friends. I am thankful for all my family including my guinea pigs. I am thankful for my friends who make the world better, and my family who is always there.

Be Autistic: An Autistic’s Guide to Acceptance

 
This is for all of the autistics who have imagined that life is never having the hope they want to have. This story is about making the life you live the best one possible. This is going to be the autistic’s guide to a better life.
 
The first step is to make sure the attitude of those around you is kind and beautiful. This is essential for success in achieving your goal of being the autistic rare amazing gem with talent unlike any others that you are.
 
Secondly being yourself is the only way to your dreams. Peace magnifies your gifts. To make a challenging body say what you are thinking and understanding takes frankly a shitload of finding the strength and courage to go on in spite of things that block your way.
 
What has to be the most important thing on your mission to acceptance is beautiful love for yourself. This is my advice to you autistics that are thinking that you are not half the person you should be. You are perfect only with the beautiful hard challenged body of an autistic. IMG_9468

The Voice

Autistics are determined to get freedom of expression. Another young girl with a beautiful voice wants to be heard. Open your ears and listen to my friend, Katerina .

 

The Voice

Once upon a time there lived a girl named Katerina. She was very beautiful and so sad, no one could communicate with her because she had no speech.  Katerina’s voice was trapped inside her head. She was brilliant but everyone treated her like she was stupid. Not having speech was harmful, she was perceived as not having any language, oh how wrong they all were.  Language and speech are not the same! Katerina developed such anger, so many insensitive cruel people said such horrible things about the girl in front of her, thinking she did not understand.  People who were suppose to educate the girl did not believe she had any potential.  Such a sad life the girl had and oh how lonely. Imagine a world where you have no one but yourself to connect with,  how many people could survive? Katerina did. Katerina learned to communicate her thoughts through RPM. Some people still doubted her, fools.

RPM gave Katerina the strength and drive to find a voice.  She yearned to find a way to show the world how smart she was. She needed speech to show them. On Halloween night, Katerina woke up with a brilliant plan, she was going to make a magic potion that would allow all the words in her head to spill out of her mouth. She jumped out of bed, lite a candle for some light and scrambled around her bedroom frantically for her book on magic potions. Where did she last see it? Yes, under her bed! Katerina pulled out the book and turned to the drink some speech potion page.

Katerina carefully read the directions, this recipe looked yummy. She quietly went downstairs and gathered her ingredients, sugar, water, fresh lemons and food coloring.  She ran up to her room, mixed the ingredients together while saying the magic words     ” talk! speech, turn on” , she said the magic words in her head three times and then gulped down the drink that looked like pink lemonade and smelled like sour lemons. The potion was wet and smooth and even more delicious then Katerina could ever imagine. Puffs of steam came out of her mouth and ears. Did it work? Katerina was not sure at first but then all of a sudden she felt different. Katerina opened her mouth and out spilled such beautiful words! Ecstatic to hear speech come out of her mouth, Katerina frantically began labeling everything in her room. She was  excited and wanted her parents to hear her speech too.

Her parents were in a deep sleep, she gently nudged her mom and waited for her mom to wake up. When mom woke up, she looked at Katerina and asked “what’s wrong Katerina?” Katerina smiled and said “nothing is wrong mom, things couldn’t be better!”  Mom jumped out of bed and turned on the lights. She hugged Katerina and burst into tears. Dad woke up and said “what is going on?” Katerina began talking and now dad was speechless. The world seemed perfect and no one doubted Katerina’s intellect.

Katerina made it her life’s mission to give voices to all non speaking kids, she never wanted any child to be treated as cruelly as she had been. Non speaking kids are underestimated by the world! Going to bed that night Katerina realized advocating for non speaking kids was necessary and could be accomplished with speech, a letterboard or a keyboard. To say speech is better then a letterboard is wrong, a letterboard is a voice! Katerina undid her potion, she realized she loved herself the way she was. It was not her that needed to change, people need to accept and learn RPM and teach non speaking kids like they do regular kids. Now is the time for change, watch out world Katerina has found her voice!