Graciela has been taking a Civil Rights in the United States class this semester. The final lesson was on disability rights. Here is her reflection on this lesson and on the class in general.
Can you have the mind of a savant inside the body of someone who is so motorically challenged that she can hardly speak her own mind? Yes, it is possible! I am this girl that has the most amazing mind that is trapped inside the most naughty body. This is my story of disability and my trying to get access to the many rights that I should have but don’t.
The lessons that we have done in this class have made me really understand that to think that you are going to succeed in the struggle to stand up for your rights without much effort is so foolish. It is hard to break through the societal and cultural barriers that have been in place for many years in this country. Challenging the status quo is never easy, but it is often important and inevitable. That we should stay quiet in these moments in which injustices occur does not help the country progress.
It is not that inviting to make hard decisions about stepping into the ring to fight injustice because injustice often wins. However, when you are called to action then it is hard to say no. When I made my decision to try to work on these issues that impact me and other non speaking autistics it was the moment that changed the trajectory of my life and sent me on my quest to try to stop being so misunderstood.
When it is challenging to use your speech to communicate there is often a lot of misunderstanding in regards to the cognition of the individual. This misunderstanding often continues for years. Trying to be happy with how many perceive you is not easy and often the frustration becomes too much.
I speak from experience. So many years of my life were spent being misunderstood. Sometimes I would break through my silence to show my true capabilities. However, my speech is highly inconsistent. To try to sort through it to see the specks of brilliance is not an easy task.
There were so many days when I thought I would have to succumb to a life of sounds that did not amount to real communication. Having to accept this life was not easy for me. My emotional fatigue left me too exhausted. Having to work through so many years of trauma from being understood in the wrong way by so many experts that claim to know a lot more about autistics than actual autistics do has been exasperating and has left its mark on my tender psyche.
Getting the opportunity to live the life that I want to make for myself is not going to be easy. There are so many obstacles in the way. This is only the beginning of my journey but it has already been so tough to get more access to the education I deserve. I have not been able to get the support that my body must have in order to access the curriculum that I am cognitively capable of thinking through.
In the past, challenges with my speaking made it impossible for my teachers to understand the quality of my thinking. This was intensifying my frustration day by day. Many years of this aggravated my thinking that I was the one who was incompetent and understood less than my teachers. However, I managed to hope for a release from the prison where I had been trapped.
The moment finally came when we found ourselves in Texas learning to really set me free through opening many doors to communication, education and access. I thought I was having a dream! Many hours of the hardest work I have ever done to date have led to what I am capable of today.
Things have been looking up for me, but I still have more work to do in order to access the dreams I have and the words I have to share with the world. When it is possible to dream it, it is possible to make the dream come true. However, I will need more support than most to live out my wildest dreams. Having to depend on others to help me is not easy to accept but this is my earthbound spirit’s reality. It is not going to stop me from realizing my dreams. Without support I would be imprisoned again. I do not want this to ever happen again because the freedom I now enjoy is too lovely to give up.
Doing this class has helped me have more courage to speak up for myself and to think about other ways I can advocate for my rights. Advocacy is tough work! Many people become too drained by the demands of the work, but I want to stick with it because I can tap into a magnificent source of tireless energy. When I make a name like Graciela stand out in the world of mathematics, then I will know that my hard work paid off. Many mathematicians have had the support and mentorship they needed to succeed. I am hoping I am as fortunate.
