This is not only for parents, but it is the parents that really need to hear this.
Dear Parents,
Try to work on our most problematic, life inhibiting, many layered behaviors that are not purposeful but are impulse driven. What I mean is that we often engage in repetitive loops of behaviors that seem intentional on the surface, but are not intentional at all. What is really working to confuse you is that our bodies look intentional but our brains are shouting out, “Stop listening to my body!”.
When our bodies outshine our brains, it is maddening. These incidents work against us every time. People often think that we want to do these things, but our goal is to work on purposeful motor activities in order to have better control of our bodies. Without opportunities for tireless practice in reigning in our impulses, there is not much hope for us to live in the way we want to live with our minds being in control of our bodies.
Doing the same things over and over feels good. It is hard to stop this behavior when there is something so gratifying about it. This is how we get hooked. However, after some time, the gratification stops and the behavior remains. This is when we need your help learning how to break the motor loop that has made its way into our habits. The things that we get stuck on are typically the things we are trying to stop ourselves from doing. The confusion lies in the fact that our bodies seem so intentional.
Working on purposeful motor movements makes such a difference. It is not hard to do, but it is necessary to do it often. Stop expecting us to make these changes on our own. We need your help! Getting help is challenging when you can’t ask for it. So, parents, you have to be on the lookout for these repetitive behaviors that are getting on our nerves.
Love,
Graciela
Graciela, you hit the spot in speaking on the struggles we as parents are trying to understand! Please continue to share what what the struggles are from your experience and how we can help from the outside. We definitely need these explainations. Mary
It is great to hear that my thoughts are helpful to you. We are all in this together.
‘Will keep that in mind. Colton definitely has a list of repetitive movements he will need help with.
Thanks so much, G. Olivia also has so many loops, and they do seem initially gratifying but later very frustrating. It is sometimes hard to know what to do in the moment to help her break the patterns. Any thoughts?
I think that it is so important to start trying to help her break through her loops without triggering her too much. It is good to try to talk to her about what is going to happen when the loop becomes excitatory. There is a lot of work you will have to do to help her along the way.Take it slow.
Graciela,
I could not agree more. I am always wanting to be purposeful and productive yet am being pulled by my impulsive habits. I want all parents and support teams to get this. Thank you for such a vivid and clear picture.
Love,
Jordyn