I Am Kind of Free

Note from G’s mom: This post is the result of a memoir writing assignment for G’s Language Arts class. This is the result of several weeks of drafting, editing, revising, etc. Enjoy!

ALL OF MY LIFE I HAVE CARED SO MUCH ABOUT OTHERS BUT HAVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO COMMUNICATE MY FEELINGS TO ANYONE. I AM ALWAYS ASKED A LOT OF INTERESTING QUESTIONS AND AM ALWAYS FRUSTRATED BY THE FACT THAT  I CANNOT ANSWER THEM EASILY.

ONE DAY SOMEONE ASKED MY MOM, “HAVE YOU BEEN TO SEE SOMA?”. I KEPT HIDING MY EXCITEMENT BECAUSE HEAVENLY SOMA GIVES KIDS A VOICE. I WAS WORRIED THAT THIS OPPORTUNITY WOULD NEVER MATERIALIZE. THEN MY MOM TOLD ME ABOUT HAVING THE RIGHT INTELLIGENCE WITH THE WRONG MOTOR SYSTEM. I ALWAYS KNEW HAVING THIS CARELESS BODY WAS GETTING IN MY WAY. LEARNING THAT MY MOM GOT THIS MADE ME SO HOPEFUL. SHE GOT HER ACT TOGETHER AND SIGNED UP FOR AN AMAZING WEEK WITH SOMA. HAVING THE REALLY MASSIVE OPPORTUNITY TO MEET SOMA WAS LIKE SAVING ME FROM A LONELY LIFE IN A SILENT PRISON. I THINK LEARNING RPM WAS THE MOST IMPORTANT MOMENT IN MY LIFE TO DATE.

OVER THE COURSE OF THE WEEK I WAS ABLE TO LEARN HOW TO GO TO THE STENCIL BOARDS TO DEMONSTRATE THAT I AM A RICH THINKER WHO IS KIND, FUNNY AND INTELLIGENT. I FELT HAPPINESS LIKE NEVER BEFORE. SOMA HELPS MANY GET OUT FROM LIVING IN PRISON. SHE CHANGED MY LIFE. I ALMOST CRIED WHEN WE LEFT SOMA’S OFFICE BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONLY PERSON I KNEW WHO COULD REACH ME AND GET ME TO COMMUNICATE WHAT I ALWAYS KNEW WHICH WAS THAT I AM A LIVELY GIRL WITH A GIFTED MIND AND MANY THINGS TO SAY. I HAD MASSIVE FEELINGS THAT DAY WE LEFT TEXAS.

THEN A REALLY MAGICAL THING HAPPENED WITH MY MOM. SINCE RETURNING FROM TEXAS SHE MADE GIVING RPM A CHANCE A PRIORITY. MANY OTHER INTERVENTIONS WERE NOT WORKING. OTHER INTERVENTIONS WERE NOT HELPING ME LEARN TO COMMUNICATE. GETTING TO TEXAS WAS A CHALLENGE BECAUSE WE HAD MOVED TO GET A NEW SCHOOL FOR ME. I ALWAYS WAS THINKING THAT I LEARNED A LOT BETTER AT HOME WITH MY MOM. HOWEVER MY MOM THOUGHT DIFFERENTLY. SO WE MOVED TO GEORGIA. REALLY MEANDERING EDUCATION HAS GIVEN ME A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE HELPED OR HINDERED ME. FINDING RPM HAD A LOT OF THE AWESOME AND AMAZING EDUCATIONAL OPPORTUNITIES IN IT. SO THIS MEANT I COULD FIND THE MAGNIFICENT GIFTS I HAVE AND BECAUSE OF RPM I CAN FINALLY SHARE THESE GIFTS WITH OTHERS.

GIVING SOME THOUGHT TO MY SUCCESS HAS MADE ME REALIZE THAT PART OF MY RARE LEARNING IS DUE TO RPM BUT THE OTHER HUGE FACTOR IS MANY HOURS OF PRACTICE WITH MY MOM. SHE ALWAYS PUTS IN THE TIME AND ENERGY SO THAT I CAN BE SUCCESSFUL. SHE IS A HERO TO ME. PAVING THE WAY TO SUCH REALLY GREAT LEARNING HAS NOT BEEN EASY FOR ME. I AM ALWAYS UNDERESTIMATED, PAID LITTLE ATTENTION TO AND LEFT ALONE. SMART HAS NOT BEEN A WORD OFTEN USED TO DESCRIBE ME, BUT I AM SMARTER THAN SOME OF THE GIFTED KIDS IN SCHOOL EXCEPT THOSE OTHER AUTISTIC STUDENTS WHO ARE ALWAYS HAVING MANY BE RUDE TO THEM.

FINDING A WAY TO GIVE THESE OTHER AUTISTICS A VOICE IS SO IMPORTANT. CAN YOU HEAR THE COMMENTS OF PEOPLE AROUND THEM AND CAN YOU HEAR NASTY COMMENTS BEING MADE ABOUT THEIR INTELLIGENCE AND THEIR BODIES? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY IN YOUR DEFENSE WHEN YOU HAVE NO WORDS? THIS IS WHY RPM HAS BEEN A LIFESAVER. WITHOUT IT I WOULD STILL BE SILENT. THIS IS REALLY AWFUL TO CONSIDER. MANY THINK I AM STUPID AND RETARDED.   HAVE YOU HELPED OTHERS UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS NOT TRUE?  PLEASE LEARN TO THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN PERCEPTIONS . TAKE A HARD LOOK. IF YOU MAKE JUDGEMENTS ABOUT PEOPLE LIKE ME THEN YOU NEED TO  DARE YOURSELF TO LISTEN AND LEARN.

DARING TO KEEP MY SPIRITS HIGH HAS BEEN A CHALLENGE AND APPEARS TO HAVE WORKED. ALL OTHER ATTEMPTS TO HELP ME COMMUNICATE DID NOT GET RESULTS PARTLY BECAUSE NO ONE TRIED TO TRULY UNDERSTAND MY CARELESS BODY. MY CARELESS BODY IS LIKE A PRISON IN WHICH I AM KIND OF TRAPPED. FINDING RPM HAS BEEN THE CATALYST FOR CHANGE. FINDING RPM HAS ALREADY MADE MY LIFE SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE I AM ALLOWED TO HAVE A VOICE. FINDING RPM HAS SET ME FREE.

LEARNING RPM WAS A DREAM COME TRUE. I WAS ALWAYS HOPING FOR AUTISM TO NOT HOLD ME DOWN IN THE MANY WAYS IT HAD BEEN DOING. ALWAYS HAVING NO VOICE FELT LIKE AN IMPOSSIBLE MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB. HAVING THE AMAZING OPPORTUNITY TO SEE SOMA KEPT ME CLIMBING.

MANY KINDS OF THE FINDINGS OF THE SO CALLED EXPERTS ARE OUT OF DATE AND WRONG. FOR EXAMPLE MASSIVE RESEARCH EFFORTS FOCUS ON THE LEARNING OF THE AUTISTIC BECAUSE THEY BELIEVE THAT AUTISTICS ARE NOT ABLE TO LEARN IN THE SAME WAY AS OTHERS. HAVE THEY FOUND PEOPLE WHO GET HELP TO LEARN AND WANT TO LEARN IN A PHYSICS CLASS AT MIT LIKE I DO? AUTISTICS ARE ONLY GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO MAKE REALLY LARGE FINDINGS KNOWN WHEN THEIR LIFE LETS THE DOOR OPEN TO COMMUNICATION. LIVING MAKES IT POSSIBLE TO LEARN AND TAKE IN INFORMATION. MANY REALLY IGNORE THIS SIMPLE FACT AND THINK THAT NOT SPEAKING MEANS NOT THINKING. GETTING ACCESS TO RPM GIVES AUTISTICS HOPE FOR THEIR FUTURE. MY FUTURE IS MASSIVELY BRIGHT RIGHT NOW. LIVING WITH AUTISM IS NEVER EASY BUT MANY AUTISTICS MUST HAVE ACCESS TO THEIR VOICE IN ORDER TO SURVIVE. FIND A WAY TO MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR THOSE NON SPEAKING AUTISTICS IN YOUR LIFE.

6 thoughts on “I Am Kind of Free”

  1. Graciela! We are so happy for you and know exactly what you are talking about! You do an excellent job of writing about your journey and your experiences. We can’t wait to see more of your very bright future unfold.
    Love, Brooke and James

  2. Dear Graciela,
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and wisdom with us. I’m certainly listening and can’t wait to share this with Luke!
    Faith

  3. Graciela I was always sure that you were exceptional intelligent,smart, caring,lovable and you will reach all you deserve because you are such special person and I am so proud of you.all my love and support. A million of kisses

  4. I am very impressed with how you expressed your feelings about Autism. You are correct in saying that RPM unlocks an Autistic’s mind. It has unlocked mine as well. I am so grateful to be free to be able to communicate. It is a miracle and I thank God for my Mom discovering and learning how to do it from Kelsey. I’m loving seeing other kids do it too. Maybe I can make some new friends like you.

  5. Yoye future is VERY bright, so get some sunglasses on!

    We couldn’t ask for a better teacher than you to remind us to dare to listen and to open our hearts & minds to non-speaking autistics.

    Keep your spirits high. You ARE making a difference in this world.

    xoxoxo,
    Sue, José, Isabel & Johanna

  6. Dear Graciela,
    I have thought of you often today as I am in Canada looking at a program where they are trying to help an autistic boy (16 I think) who does not speak. He too has a careless body that I believe gets in the way of those around him hearing him. I talked to the staff about RPM…I think they only partially listened to me. I am not very articulate in explaining RPM. I so wished I had you here with your letterboard to help them hear. I plan on giving them the address to your blog tomorrow…I think reading your thoughts and experience might help motivate them to listen more carefully to the possibility of RPM. You are an inspiration Graciela and you continue to amaze me.
    love you

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *